The twins are 2!! - Twins at two years old.

The twins are 2, and don't we know it!

I am knackered.

They are tough little buggers who fight and challenge pretty much everything apart from chocolate. They fight getting in to their high chairs, and in to the pram. They refuse getting dressed, or being wiped. They have to be pinned down to have their nappies changed. I have to bribe them with Haribo to get them into their car seats, though they will comply if they think we're going to Grandma's house.

We have a naughty cage. It's the old hexagonal play pen, brought out for another innings. They go in that in a corner of the playroom when they get too much to handle or they do something naughty - like pulling hair, smacking their sisters, or refusing to do something like get dressed when I'm in a rush. They hate the naughty cage but it seems to work. They're as compliant as anything when I take them out again (it's not as bad as it sounds - it's carpeted and not in the dark or anything like that. Don't hate me).

They throw things out of their high-chair - and not just any old throwing - they are going for the world record for lobbing juice cups across a full dining table. They laugh when they do it. Sometimes they hit Trouble Two with a cup. It's never Trouble One. It's like they're doing it on purpose. 

Over the last few weeks, we have seen a lot of tantrums, caused by a variety of things, including......

• for me telling Twin One that she couldn't sit on Twin Two's head. 
• For not giving Twin One mustard when she asked for it.
• For not letting Twin Two have the entire pot of Vaseline.
• Because "In The Night Garden" went off. 

The tantrums are quite spectacular too. They scream, stamp their feet and turn purple. We handle them like we did with the older two - we point and laugh. It seems to be working.

To be fair, Twin One seems to be more of a handful than Twin Two, who is quite a bit easier going. When strangers used to crack a "joke" by asking which one of them was "the evil one", we would treat them with scorn and reply that they are both as good/bad as each-other and that pigeon-holing children at such an easy age was an immoral thing to do. Now, we just point at Twin One and say "that one". 

A couple of weeks ago, they learned to climb out of their cots. On the same night. That evening we had to quickly dismantle the cots, in an already crowded bedroom, and put up their toddler beds. It was pretty stressful. They took a few days to get used to them but now they are sleeping through in them. When they wake in a morning, they get themselves some books and then go back to bed for a bit. Sometimes I catch Twin One sleeping in Twin Two's bed with her, which is very cute. Twin Two can sleep through anything - someone sleeping next to her, or even on top of her - which is probably just as well.

They are starting to show their individual personalities, though it's hard to say exactly what those personalities are. Twin Two is more likely to get up and dance if we put a DVD on. She'll copy the actions and try and 'sing' along. Twin One is more likely to observe the craziness.

Twin Two is scared of things - sledging, dogs, strange people. Twin One has a death wish and throws herself into stuff. Twin One gets upset if she hurts someone and can say sorry by giving a hug. They have both loved playing in the snow this last week or two, and also having cuddles with the family pet guinea pig. 

Potty training is gradual. They are a long way off being dry, especially as they can't ask to go to the toilet yet, but they know what a potty is and they do try before a bath, and a couple of times through the day. Half the time they manage to do something and we all give them a round of applause. We will push the training in a couple of months when they weather gets better and we can do more outside play. 

The speech is coming on a bit but they don't seem as bothered about the language thing as the older two girls were. They have a few words, mainly food-related and 'no', but they get what they want despite their lack of language skills. Twin One can put two words together - things like 'bye, mumma' - but their vocabulary is very limited. I think it's a younger child thing though rather than a twin-thing. They don't babble away to each other any more than they chat to others. They speak a lot more when the older two girls are not around to speak for them. 

They have got into Play Doh, and proper jigsaws. Their favourite TV programme has changed from In The Night Garden to Show Me Show Me with Chris and Pui. They watch seemingly endless Peppa Pig. On a loop. 

They eat everything we eat now. Their favourite is cheesy-pasta, which they are attempting to say. Probably so they can put in their lunch order. 

They have all but their very back teeth. They started off by brushing their teeth when they got a bath (so it's less messy) but we've now got in to the habit of brushing them every night before bed. They love it. I give their teeth a once over first, then they can have a turn. Twin Two is much better at this doing proper brushing movements. Twin One just sucks the toothbrush and then clamps her teeth down when we try and retrieve the brush so we can take over.

The Dad and I are worn out and are counting down the days til they get their pre-school funding.  Which is Easter 2014 in case you were wondering. It's on the calendar!

Yesterday, we had a little party for family children down the local soft play area. We weren't going to bother but we got a party deal off Groupon, so it would have been rude not to. Today, we had family come over after work and my mum brought a cake she'd baked, and we had party food and sang Happy Birthday. 

The Cake - complete with twin Peppas

I am shattered. We've had two days of cakes, presents, cards, and tears. One present has already been damaged by a tussle over who was to play with it next. I have picked the numerous cards up from the floor more times than I care to think about. 

Da presents. On top of another present.

We have babies no longer, and never will again. We move on to the next phase of parenthood ready for the challenges ahead. With the help of a lot of love, and a bit of caffeine. And possibly wine.